Barber Shop Quartet Refuses to Sing At Bernie Sanders Campaign Event For Obvious Reasons

August 2, 2015 12:24 pmViews: 336

Bernie Sanders barber shop quartet

In an attempt to uphold their impeccable standards, a barbershop quartet hired by the Bernie Sanders campaign to appear at an event with him in Madisontownship, Wisconsin has refused to show up and sing their classic 4 part harmonies. John Stapleton, the leader of his quartet known as the Cutting Edge Crooners said, "It's obvious to anyone with eyes in their skull, just look at Bernie's hair. We have a reputation you know."

The 4 members of the quartet, all professional barbers with more than 80 years of experience between them, have seen their fair share of wild hair in their days, hanging out in barbershops trading war stories and analyzing their own and customer's female conquest anecdotes, but Bernie Sanders hair takes the cake. "Sanders still looks like a hippie" quipped Harley Dafenbaucher, tenor for the group, "We all cleaned up our act in the 90's and finally got respectable haircuts, but this Sanders character and his hair reminds me of a cross between Medusa and Hendrix. Hello Sanders, the 60's is calling, they want their hairstyle back."

Stapleton, the group's leader and the only one of the four who still owns a barber shop, said he would offer Sanders a free cut, but said it would be required before the group would sing at one of his events. But this has caused a slight division with one member of the group as Hardy Steinbrecker chimed in saying, "Hold on a minute on the free haircut there Stapleton, Sanders is a card carrying socialist and wants to raise taxes, let him pay for his own damn cut."

As the Cutting Edge Crooners seek to come together on the division in their group, they have decided to pass on the Bernie Sanders event this time and just let the citizens of Madisontownship, WI enjoy their harmonic talents, free from politics.

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